A Wasted Sunday Morning (The Open Door)

 Okay! I have wasted my morning for a handful of breakfasts and a lot of cheese!

It didn't start out that way. It started out a simple necessary decision. I need groceries, among other things. I also need test strips that are Walmart brand. I tried to get them delivered but -- that's a whole 'nother story.

So, instead of going to Kroger, I went to Walmart. I could buy some other necessities there as well as some groceries. And if they had any Verizon phones, I could get that.

Off to Walmart I go. Pleasant, easy trip. Not a lot of traffic (church) and beautiful weather, and just a good feeling.

I should know better!

Amelia Walmart did NOT have my test strips. I even asked at the window and got the if-we-have-any-they'd-be-on-the-shelf. There weren't any.

They didn't have the brand of necessities I wanted.

No Verizon phones.

So I went to Walmart, used up my gas, and my time, for no real reason.

'

Well, I could still get groceries, although Kroger is cheaper and has better selection in most but not all foodstuffs, especially produce.

So I did. Kroger does not have $2 breakfast bowls, so I snatched me up a bunch of them, and Kroger doesn't always have the big box of cheese single, so I bought one of those. And a box of crackers. I wanted some fruit, but Wal-marts selection is bad and they want about twice Kroger's price.

anyway, I got those goodies, went to check out. Cashier asked about my day and I told him not well, but he didn't ask for any details. (He wasn't responsible and couldn't do anything anyway.)

Went out to car; loaded groceries into back seat, and tried to open door and get in, but couldn't. Somehow I must have locked the door. Easy enough to do when you're manipulating purses and canes and keeping an eye on traffic and all that other stuff.

I hobble around to the other side of the car and hit the unlock switch on the other front door which unlocks both. I see the driver side door unlock from the passenger side of the car.

Problem solved. (I wish)

Gimp my way back around and yay, hooray, but strange -- the driver door popped partially open when it was unlocked.

The damn door still wouldn't open!

I pushed it fully shut and tried again.

Nope, no luck. It would open just as much as it had popped, but no more. Well hell.

I figured the door panel must have slipped and been catching on the frame.

So I toddle around the car again, get in the passenger seat, flip the switch a couple times and then use my cane to force the door open.

It opens.

Yay Hooray again.

Back around the car this ridiculous fat old lady goes again -- I got some steps in today, I did. Yes,, the door panel was kind of loose and needed adjusting. Congrats on your clever diagnosis, fatso gimp (I'm starting to feel it by now).

I take care of that, seat myself, put my seat belt on, and the key in the ignition. (So I won't put it down and lose it -- I'm beginning to lose my faith in the Day.)

I close the door!

It goes KLONK and bounces back open!

Does it two or three more times.

It's not the inner panel. I can see that when I look, and the KLONK has a different sound than the padded panel should make. It's metallic!

omfg

the little hook thing that's supposed to latch on the door isn't moving. I can't exactly examine it or work on it there in the parking lot, but -- Heavy sigh -- oh well, I have a bungee cord, so I can hook it up somehow to hold the door until I get home.

Except that there is nothing in the car to attach it to!

Nothing on the door to attach it to, except for the rigging holding my window up. Well thank god there's that. Strange thing to be thankful for, but all things happen for a reason, right?

Except that there is still nothing IN THE CAR to attach the other end to. Did think about using my seat, but that was a no-go as a plan. I couldn't pull it hard enough, and if it was that hard to pull, could I trust it not to pull loose? As in either pull the seat out, or snap me in the back or head or something?

I guess i won't go to Kroger today.

Now if I can just get home.

Nope, nothing to hold it shut.

Guess I'll have to hold it myself. Yeah, like that's going to work.

I attach one end of the bungee to the strapping on the window, and run the other end up around the place holding the visor to the car, and just hold on to the other end of it.

All the way home.

I made it home, and here I sit, cussing and fussing, eating my breakfast and thin king of grilled cheese for dinner.

I'd really like to bang my head into the walls, kick a few rocks around, and maybe cry myself back to sleep.

I might do that.

When I calm down.

so, how is your day going? Please let me be happy for you

A Wreck of a Good Day

Well, y'all are not going to believe how I wrecked a beautiful wonderful day. I was finally going to get the jello shots for my knee, so maybe I wouldn't be so wibbly-wobbly. These were due in April, but, y'know, life was happening in the meantime.
Plus this day was already above 80 degrees F. Whew!

Got up early (for me) got all cleaned up, dressed, organized, etc. I even went outside and checked the reservoir on my car because it doesn't like heat when everything works., and everything hasn't worked for a while, but the car still usually gets me where I need to know. Filled it up. Didn't take a lot, which was a cheerful discovery.
Came back in, took medicine combed hair, packed phone and wallet in purse, since my dress has no pockets.

 
Checked my mail and Facebook, because I still had time. Lots of crazy stupid accidents going on. Accidents on 68 in a couple places -- not going that way-- and around and about downtown on the interstates and -- oh no! An accident earlier on Five Mile. Car upside down and on fire. That was the direction I was going. although it had been cleared up by then.

 
In other words, just a normal day with an unusual number of accidents showing up in my local feed.
Other interesting calls that have come in today include a kid around New Richmond selling a dead kitten, someone in Ripley skateboarding and flipping people off, a 15 year old girl kidnapped by a Ford 150 from King's auto mall, wearing a tie-dye shirt. (These were later and are just to show what kind of day this is here.)

AnyWay, I leave early enough to get gas in my car and head on down the road. Now this dr office is about 45 minutes from home on a good day, so I leave plenty of time beforehand. Once I'm out of town and the traffic has cleared a bit, I pull into the inner lane, so I won't have to change lanes to make a left turn when going through the business/professional area which is the last part of the trip, dr's offices being a professional setup.
All is going well. Cars in the outer lane are NOT passing me so I'm maintaining speed well, and stopping appropriately at the red lights. Nice smooth driving, although it doesn't seem as if I'm getting very far very fast.
Still, I have plenty of time.

Then I get to Amelia.

Let me tell you about Amelia.
Amelia is a town that isn't a town. The town government disbanded itself not long ago, after a couple hundred years of existence.
It is also. metaphorically, an inch wide and miles long. Narrow lanes, uncoordinated lights, 5 lanes in some places but not in others, lots and lots of traffic, including semis and oversized trucks.
No village police, since the village suicided itself when no one wanted to be the Big Frog anymore.
I keep having to slow down and sometimes momentarily stop for left-turners. Annoying, but not as annoying as constant lane changing in what looks like heavy traffic to me.

 
I get through the center of town, and there's a stopped car at a green light in front of me. I had watched two or three cars cut around him, changing lanes and getting back, but I didn't mind waiting. A sheriff pulled up behind me, and he waited too. There was a lot of oncoming traffic, so the driver ahead just couldn't go. In the meantime, traffic passing on my right had nearly stopped completely.
I decide to cut over like those other cars had . So, I checked mirrors, looked over my shoulder, checked mirrors again and pulled out
And some horn went off and a white car tried to barrel past me.

 
That did not quite work out. It's a good thing I was starting from a complete stop, and she wasn't going too fast (I guess) from traffic. I don't know where she came from, since I hadn't seen her coming.
No big smash up (nobody turned upside-down and caught fire). A few chips of paint out of her car and maybe a couple of dents. (I still haven't looked at mine.) No injuries. She had a passenger, also uninjured. I never got out of my car (combined heat and wibbly-wobbly knees)

I no longer had plenty of time. 
I did not make my dr appointment (dammit), but considering all the weird things happening out in the public, we were pretty lucky.
But that is how I wrecked a good day.
Although no needles in my knees was a fair positive.
And at least we didn't have to wait for policed. 

Carventure for the Knees: First of Three

Let me tell you about my carventure today.
It was great fun, as it always is, when I set out on my own, in my trusty rusty automobile.

First, I had to remove the blankets draped over the window that won't close. We had hella storms over the weekend and winds and tornado warnings and all the good stuff as kitten-cub March roared it's way out as a full grown bull-mad lion. So I had protected the car and contents as best I could. All that had to be undone before I could go anywhere. Blankets on the windows tend to limit the driver's ability to see out, and that's not really good in gray-day situations. (Although it wasn't actually raining by then.)

Next I needed gas. Well, my knees have been bad all week, and, it was, in fact, for my knees that I was going out, so I went to the gas station here in town -- hometown tradition; Wichard's -- where they will pump the gas without having to be informed of a disabled person's presence. We're just like normal people to them!
There appeared to be no other customers waiting, there were no autos in the service bay, and not even the stand-around chit-chatters (generally known in the service industry as the Liars Club. Every business has them.)
I didn't think the 'service person' was ever coming out.I was wondering if I was going to have to go somewhere else and DIY it. But, having worked as customer service, I know that the slow times are when you have to go do the extras in the back room (or equivalent,) and so I waited.

Finally.  
Got my gas.
And a light came on on the dash, one that I never even knew existed. One word, SECURITY in red (not orange) lights. Car was running; no knocks, pings, or heartbeat thumps. Brakes were holding well. Temperature gauge was reading normal, so I proceeded with my drive down to Five Mile Road.
Everything worked as it should all the way there. I did the safety stuff -- long stop times, staying back, not getting too close, keeping in the outside lane.
At one point my cruise control turned itself on. That was interesting, as I was approaching a stoplight in an interstate ramp area.
Got there with no further excitement, parked, went in, got a goopy and painful shot in both knees, and headed back out.
The security light did not come back on when the car restarted.
Going home, yay!
As I turned off the road onto the highway to home, that darned old low oil light came on and stayed on.
Same engine check; no pings, clatters, or thumps, no getting hot, no unexplained or unusual noises. So I continue on, thinking I'll stop somewhere for a nosh, and while there I'll see if the reboot -- I mean restart -- thing will work it's magic once again. So at an approximate halfway spot I did just that. Went to a drive-thru, had to turn the key off to be heard on the speaker (my car, like myself has some type of bronchitis and chronically breathes very loudly)
And guess what!
It did indeed work again, and I made it home with my lunch and to my ice packs and my bed.!
Whew!
What a journey to start my week.

Join my Caravan! :)

I have had a dream, for most of my life, to see the
Pacific NorthWest. I want to breathe in trees and lakes and mountains.

The closest I have got to this, in this lifetime, is when my sister included me in a trip into the Great Smoky Mountains. There was an instant peace there, a sense of being "home" that I have never ever in my life known.

A childhood home,perhaps... 

As a grown-up, I feel there's something more, and I still want it.

I'm losing my mobility and my health, and have begun trying to make this dream of mine come true. I have some (relatively little) money saved. I have pictures to look at everyday to encourage myself to spend my money on that dream instead of pizza. I'm still working on it. I have scents and incense to breathe in what I can from this far out. 

When I've thought about it, it has been as a road trip. With a few select people, most of whom I suspect will have lives too complex for them to leave when I finally do get everything together. 

And, as much as I like a road trip, I am not a distance driver, so someone else would have the bulk of that responsibility, but I want them to do it my way. That is, no freeways, no hurry, let's meander across the plains (may as well, because no matter how fast we go, it's going to feel like forever, especially after the mountains (finally!) come into view. Days become weeks, driving through the here to get to the there in the flatlands. Been there, done that. 

I don't want to have to be in certain towns by certain dates because of reservations or anything. I want to go until we're tired of going, and stop at the first stopping place we find, be it a hotel, motel, campground, or a park of some other sort. I want to pull off at odd little stops and walk down odd little paths to odd little or large waterfalls, and eat in odd little towns. Tourist stops, if they are the natural kind. Not interested in flashing lights and crowds and staged events. I want to see the world --or just the country -- as it is in the open.

Now, today it popped into my mind that perhaps I'm being too close, or closed-minded, in my choice of companions for travelling, and that I should ask around and find if maybe there are others interested. There are certainly others who share interest in some of the things that piqued my interest and fostered the dream. (Haven't yet found many tree-people yet though.)

The thing about this thought is that it isn't exactly me. I'm uncomfortable with persons I don't know well. Heck, I'm uncomfortable with people I DO know well.

As a child it was considered being intensely shy. Then for a period of time it was some type of social anxiety or phobia. Now it is extreme introversion. And although it's not as strong as before, believe me it IS still extreme, almost to the point of phobia.

Anyway, this ranks highly in the category of the most ridiculous ideas I've ever had, So I laughed at my crazy self and went about the business of my day.

When I got around to the delights of my day, one part of that was reading my horoscope. Which said, I kid you not, that I would have a crazy idea that day and however wild it seemed to be, I should consider it seriously. That it could have merit and meaning for whatever vague plans I had been considering. 

That made me laugh, too. Almost as funny as off-the-cuff socializing was the idea of me taking a horoscope more as a specific rule for the day than a general guideline for some time or other before I die. 

The same advice was repeated, in different words,  in my career horoscope, my money horoscope, and it also appeared in my magical tarot card draws that I actually have NO participation in. 

So, I thought maybe I should put it out there. Anybody interested in joining my (thus far imaginary) trip to the PNW? .

You'll need your own money, and it would really be a big help if you have a car, because mine is not up to the trip (although it might surprise us all, that's not a risk I wish to take). Actually, an RV might be even better, and a truck camper thing would be best. They can usually get in campgrounds that RVs can't. 

So, having provided your own vehicle to drive yourself (or vehicles if our group becomes too large for just one) and your own financing, you are invited to join a trip planner who has made no plans, no reservations, nor mapped out a definite course for no specific time frame.  

Come one, come all, no need to shove. Surely together we can figure me out!

Keys to the Kar

I am such an IDIOT! 

Or maybe just brain dead. 

Took Tammy to Kroger and decided at last minute to take her car. So we went to the store, came back out, and got in. I took keys off the keyring and put in ignition, but the key would not turn. It would not go forward, backward, jiggle up or down or anything. 

We called home and David told us to do all the stuff we had already done. It still didn't work. 

Ended the phone call and Tammy was still trying to get it to work. 

I started to say something about all the jiggly things maybe weighing it down too much, when I suddenly noticed that there were NO jiggly things. So I checked my keyring.

Yup. That's what I did. 

Sitting in a hot parking lot with the sun beating down on us, we were trying to start the Escort with keys belonging to the Crown Vic.
(On the plus side, they didn't work. That's always good to know.)

Summer Fun -- or Not.

Well, I was going to take the kids to the laser show at Coney. Had everything set up except buying the ticket and finalizing what vehicle. Wasn't going to take my loud easy bake oven if I didn't have to.

The show was/is this weekend only. July 8 thru 11.  
Then the weather forecast changed.
From a pleasant (hot and humid ) summer weekend to a rainy stormy one.
Well, this event was being held outdoors. The webpage even said bring a tent if you were worried about rain. Said the rain would enhance the lasers, and I could see that. If it was a nice gentle rain.
Didn't think lightning would enhance very much. And the kids are iffy about storms, especially out of their home territory.
Plus my own problems with driving in darkness, in wetness, and in lightning.
So, I cancelled. Didn't buy the tickets, didn't finalize borrowing a car.
I said, when I told them, that it probably wouldn't storm if we didn't go, but it probably would of we went. I didn't want to take a chance with them along. The weather report for both Saturday and Sunday was late evening (about sundown) storms, possibly severe..
Yeah it didn't rain much (here) on Saturday night.
We must wait and see about Sunday night.
Anybody want to place a bet with me about rain then?

Adventures in Driving in Heavy Traffic During Heavy Rain

Got to Anderson, no problem.
Back to Eastgate, no problem.

Traffic is horrendous. Occasional heavy downpours, steady rain otherwise. Road construction all through there. My wipers are doing their new thing where I have to sometimes keep turning them on -- up and down -- to keep them working. And of course the multiple idiots in white and gray cars who have NO DAMN HEADLIGHTS on.!
Get me outta here!

So. Batavia exit.
Slowed down to approach light at 132, still traffic, poor visibility. Get to dairy-bar-turned-into-dentist office.
And the car QUITS.
(quits running, still rolling, for whatever that's worth.)
Just -- quits.
No engine sounds, no static on radio, wipers were working.
No dash lights. That I noticed. May not have been looking in the right place -- never had to pay attention to those before.It's not hot, gauge is in the normal midrange. (A miracle in all that traffic)

So I whip (with no power steering and no forward inertia) it into that little lane/alley/road beside forementioned building. Try to start. clickety sounds. Sitting blocking thruway, I hop out and open hood. Jiggle the little black thing; jiggle the battery cable. (Both previous troublemakers)
Get back in the car and start it up. Yay! (Something must have jiggled loose, although nothing felt loose.)

Through Batavia and started up the hill.

It did it AGAIN! One moment vroom-vrooming merrily along, the next the whistling wind and pattering raindrops.
Fortunately near the pull off, before the church/Bauer/Brunk Rd intersection area.
Well, I'm not getting out there if I can help it. Not under those conditions. Tammy and I discuss who we can call and how they could help. I hit the key, and the darned thing starts up as if nothing had ever happened.

So we set off again. This time I figure it's not gonna hurt, so I turn the radio all the way down (couldn't find power under circumstances. I always have to look for it). Turned defog fan all the way down. Turned wipers off hitting the switch as needed to clear windshield.
The dashlights not coming on had me thinking 1)electrical 2)in the steering column.

Made it up the hill, with a lil bit of prayer. Engine did do a little stuttering as we neared the peak (if you want to call it that. In a shutting-down car, it's appropriate usage I think.) I begged it to just keep going, just keep on, and it did. Yay! Good Car!
Passed the school; passed the redlight that isn't there any more, sailed through Afton with out a hiccup.
Cruised through Williamsburg.
Did NOT stop for gas.
After Williamsburg, pure relief. At least, as I told Tammy, we were in home territory, even if we did have to call outliers (Rita and/or Jeanie) for help in getting home (before Hailey would find no one anywhere.)
On and on we go.
Into Mt. Orab. Should we go back roads (Carpenter) or through town. Decided to go through town. Better chance of rescue from there; better places to pull off if needed. So, on we go through traffic lights and turns, all the way through town, to the trailer park.

AGAIN! As I was making the turn. This time I saw the dash lights (which reinforces me thinking they didn't light up before. Because there they were for me to see without my having to look for them.
This time the engine turned over but didn't start, like it did a couple weeks ago when the fuel pump wasn't working.
Popped the hood, and yep, that lil black thing had wiggledy-jiggled loose (but not apart)Slid it tighter and started up again.

Hooray! Home again!
Here's to hoping we can get Tam to work and me and the kids back home again from that.

Didn't we have FUN?

More on Moving On

Or maybe I should say moron moving on.
Except that I'm not, really. Not moving on, that is. I'm trying to, but having little success.

As I mentioned before, this trailer is falling apart. I've thought about calling ~ someone ~ to have it condemned, but I dont really see that as ending in anything good for me. (Not to mention they'd probably have to condemn the whole blasted trailer park. I sure don't want to put that many families out of their homes.

I'd just like to exchange mine for a better one.

Oh well, at the time I got this, I was happy with walls, roof, electric, and a toilet. Got all that, so it was, for a while, an answer to prayers.

That time has passed now.

I've thought of becoming a snowbird. Drive down to Florida during the nastiest cold, sleeping om beaches and such. But at the end of the day, I kind of like having a place to go home to.

I've thought about chucking everything and living in my car, going where weather and inspiration and inclination might take me. I even eyeball measured sizes for totes to go in the trunk of my car for my clothes. My 'stuff' could go into storage; its not all that costly. That is, what I can't give away to others in need.

Most places -- cities, counties, towns -- have low rent motels that will offer reduced rates for monthly. Usually no references, security deposits, etc. I'd be kind of afraid to live in those circumstances far from home, though.

I've sort of looked at a lot of places. Semi looked into them. And there are so many places I haven't gone to but wish I could.

My beloved Pacific Northwest is way way out of my budget. I may yet manage to visit the area some day, but it seems unlikely it would ever be for anything permanent. I'd like the chance to find out, but every day that passes, every week that elapses, every month torn from the calendar makes that a little more remote.

So, I keep circling ads in the local papers. I make phone calls that are never returned. I check Facebook marketplace and craigslist.
While doing this I hope and pray I don't fall into, in, or out of my bath tub.
I hope I don't trip over anything that's fallen on the floor.
I hope my electric stays on, I hope I can stretch my groceries, I hope mynext residence isn't a nursing home, because I have finally completely lost my mind.

I hope.
I look.
I try.

and every useless, wasted day, I die a little more in spirit and wish my body had as much sense.