Friday, January 23, 2015

DISRESPECT?

Tammy and Hazel, 1988



My stepdaughter Hazel died, heroin overdose. She was found, hospitalized, and on life support for several days.

No one told her sisters on her father's side that she was in the hospital, that she was dying, that she had died.

A friend of mine told me, and I had to tell them. (Disrespectful)

This is the sister that they -- all of Rex's family -- turned the town of Bethel upside down trying to find her so she could say goodbye to her daddy. When she got there she was more interested in zipping up her boyfriend's pants than spending time with her dad. They also just vanished from the hospital without telling anyone. We spent some time looking there, too. (Disrespectful on their part, don't you think?)


After the original news was published, Hazel was listed as the beloved daughter of her mother and her mother's 99th husband. (That number is hyperbole, not fact.)

Hazel's real father, who died without her presence, was not mentioned in the original obituary.

As if he had never existed

As if he had never been part of her life. (Disrespectful.)



I took our girls to her funeral.

If Hazel's other half sister, who in my opinion suffered the greatest loss, or her mother even spoke to my daughters, it was only in passing. (Disrespectful)

Our girls mingled, and my older daughter was asked why she was there; who was she to Hazel. (Disrespectful)
(And who the heck does that at a funeral, unless it's by invitation only?)



We sat in the back row for the service.

My daughter took her phone from her daughter (age 6) who had started playing music instead of a card game on it. She was holding it in her hand. She didn't think the child's choice of music was respectful or appropriate.

Bedamned if some blonde woman (NOT a member of the immediate family) didn't chew my daughters out about how "disrespectful:"they were for having their phones out! (Disrespectful)

I wish to hell I had known what Blondie was saying! I would have told her a thing or two about DISRESPECT! (Not to mention common courtesy and a side serving of 'mind-your-own-business.)

My girls had lost a sister, too, and were treated as if they came in off the street to get warm.

If that isn't disrespectful, what is?