How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is
To have a thankless child!
That's the proverb, originating, much to my surprise, from Shakespeare. Like many of his quotes, it's become muddled in my head with Biblical shibboleths, probably because both employ the same language.
A serpent's tooth? Really? Is that the worst most piercing pain Shakespeare could think of, or his contemporaries imagine? I've never been snake bit, so I really shouldn't comment, but I really think there are or were worse pains.
And a thankless child? Does one expect gratitude from one's children? Is that the epitome of parenting? That your child be thankful?
Truly, that's a good start. A gratitude attitude is usually a good thing, and something a parent wants to instill in the psyche of the little mind and heart entrusted to them.
There are things more important than gratitude. A selflessness. Consideration of others. Work ethic, or perhaps any ethics at all. Cleanliness. Independence.
Thankfulness is nice, and if the other things fall into place, it will be there. But Gratitude is not high on my list of priorities.
Many a parent would be glad to forgo the thanks to have their child returned whole and healthy.
Many a parent would forgo the thanks to have their child free and functioning.
Many a parent would forgo the thanks to have their child not shame and embarrass them in front of friends, family, and the world in general.
How did it ever get started that ingratitude is the hallmark of a dysfunctional parent/child symbiosis?
You are sooooo wrong in this. Maybe that's why one of your daughters has definite self-esteem problems and the other is so selfish no one can stand her.
ReplyDeleteWell Anonymous, hope you aren't pretending to be her friend to her face because you don't even have what it takes to be an honorable enemy. Someone so rude and cowardly is a nonentity.
ReplyDeleteReally.You pretend to have cojones in order to be 'brave' enough to say something like this but hide behind anonymity. You are worse than a coward, you are an emotional jackal.
There are no simple answers. There are so many factors at play in raising a child: differing personalities, societal influences, financial pressures, life events and our own ingrained responses to those stresses, genetics, etc.. Often, clarity on those issues only comes to us late in life, when it's hard to get back on track. The reality is that a child never asks to be born and arrives in this world innocent. As parents, we are not perfect. We do our best, but we make mistakes. I've learned that admitting my mistakes to my child rather than defending myself is crucial, and can be step one in mending the relationship. This parenthood-thing is so much harder than any of us were led to believe, isn't it? :-)
ReplyDeletethank you
ReplyDelete