Yesterday, we said formal good-byes to my Rex.
I won't say final good-bye, because, for me, there is no finality. There's always a qualifier.
Until we meet again
In this lifetime
For others, who did not live with him daily or minute by minute, the farewell is more final. That's okay. Good-bye is not Gone Forever. They will have their own memories and cherished moments. There will be times when something reminds them of the time "Rex and I" did such-and-such . There will be times when they think I must call Rex, and then remember that they can't.
Over and over they may have heart-stopping moments like that.
I had thought at first to have a viewing, a visitation. I had found out that I could, and decided to do so.
But I woke in the night with Rex's thoughts in mine, and what he was saying was that he didn't want people staring at him.
That is so exactly what Rex would say, how he would feel, that I could not ignore it. There would be no staring at the empty body.
The service was another problem. Rex was rampantly anti-preacher. He'd want no part of a preaching.
How does one have a funeral without a preacher, or perhaps some trained motivational speaker or something?
One returns to the traditions of funeral speaking -- those who loved; those who knew the deceased. The fond farewell from loved ones.
My sisters spoke, for him, and our daughter's spouse.Together we worked on things to be said -- a brief bio of the man Rex was, and a speaking of how he lived.
There were two things important to me. Rex was not religious. As I said, he was against anything that smacked of preaching. But the way he lived his life was so Godly, in many ways ; so very Christian.
"Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you have done unto me."
Rex lived that.
It wasn't easy.
He agonized over issues; over should he or shouldn't he; over is it best.
Sometimes he shouldn't.
Sometimes it isn't best.
But it was the right thing to do.
So, however reluctantly, however unwisely, he would choose the right way of doing things.
Just because.
Already one daughter is following that example. (The other hasn't had much chance.)
Rex was no Christian as the world and the organized churches see Christian.
But he led a Christian life.
He had a Christ-like soul.
I won't say final good-bye, because, for me, there is no finality. There's always a qualifier.
Until we meet again
In this lifetime
For others, who did not live with him daily or minute by minute, the farewell is more final. That's okay. Good-bye is not Gone Forever. They will have their own memories and cherished moments. There will be times when something reminds them of the time "Rex and I" did such-and-such . There will be times when they think I must call Rex, and then remember that they can't.Over and over they may have heart-stopping moments like that.
I had thought at first to have a viewing, a visitation. I had found out that I could, and decided to do so.
But I woke in the night with Rex's thoughts in mine, and what he was saying was that he didn't want people staring at him.
That is so exactly what Rex would say, how he would feel, that I could not ignore it. There would be no staring at the empty body.
The service was another problem. Rex was rampantly anti-preacher. He'd want no part of a preaching.
How does one have a funeral without a preacher, or perhaps some trained motivational speaker or something?
One returns to the traditions of funeral speaking -- those who loved; those who knew the deceased. The fond farewell from loved ones.
My sisters spoke, for him, and our daughter's spouse.Together we worked on things to be said -- a brief bio of the man Rex was, and a speaking of how he lived.
There were two things important to me. Rex was not religious. As I said, he was against anything that smacked of preaching. But the way he lived his life was so Godly, in many ways ; so very Christian.
"Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, that you have done unto me."
It wasn't easy.
He agonized over issues; over should he or shouldn't he; over is it best.
Sometimes he shouldn't.
Sometimes it isn't best.
But it was the right thing to do.
So, however reluctantly, however unwisely, he would choose the right way of doing things.Just because.
Already one daughter is following that example. (The other hasn't had much chance.)
Rex was no Christian as the world and the organized churches see Christian.
But he led a Christian life.
He had a Christ-like soul.
and there's nothing more to say.
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