I have to admit, I'm surprised. Even disappointed. There has been no outreach from my neighborhood after the death of my husband. And we live and have lived in this small rural town (Winchester Ohio in Adams County) for several years.
I'm not complaining, just observing. I have plenty of support and assistance from my personal (not physical) neighborhood. Not complaining, but surprised.
Not complaining, except about one issue.
The local newspapers did not run my husband's obituary. One paper didn't run the obit at all; the other county paper ran an abbreviated version. I don't complain that they didn't make a big deal, or didn't make him the headline, or anything like that. That would be unrealistic, considering that we are not lifetimers in the town (or even the county.)
But we have lived here, quietly enough, for several years. My husband offended no one, was in no trouble these years, was a quiet man living a quiet life.
Wouldn't you think an inoffensive man could, on the occasion of his death, have all his credentials (or relatives) credited to him in the place wherein he lived?
Is that so much to ask?
Is it too much to ask?
Another surprising observation is that I received no communications from any of the local churches. It sure was different a few years ago! The churches then (more than ten, less than fifteen years ago) would send out a condolence card of some sort. Some sent full sized cards; others would send post cards; still others would enclose a small card, along with a comforting tract or two.
Some churches would have visitors who made condolence calls, unsolicited.I have to admit, I am glad that practice has (apparently) stopped. It's no time for strangers to visit.
I am surprised that there was no outreach from the churches.
One of the churches hosts a bereavement group -- but the only way I know that is because I looked it up online, following advice from a friend. This church is pretty active in the community, so it was no surprise that they have this group. It was a surprise that no one had let me know that it was available.
And there have been no solicitations for memorials and plaques and headstones. No one offering to take the nonexistent insurance money. Did get one card about monuments, but it was from two counties and many miles away; nothing local.
Just surprising.
And, if this is true for someone like us, who have been here, what support is there for relative strangers? How can they cope or find help, or anything? How many in our neighborhoods have died and left behind loved ones truly bereft because there is no help or no heart in our neighborhoods anymore?
Someone should recognize each life in the community, long term or on a short visit. A life lost in a community is a life lost to the community.
I'm not complaining, just observing. I have plenty of support and assistance from my personal (not physical) neighborhood. Not complaining, but surprised.
Not complaining, except about one issue.
The local newspapers did not run my husband's obituary. One paper didn't run the obit at all; the other county paper ran an abbreviated version. I don't complain that they didn't make a big deal, or didn't make him the headline, or anything like that. That would be unrealistic, considering that we are not lifetimers in the town (or even the county.)
But we have lived here, quietly enough, for several years. My husband offended no one, was in no trouble these years, was a quiet man living a quiet life.
Wouldn't you think an inoffensive man could, on the occasion of his death, have all his credentials (or relatives) credited to him in the place wherein he lived?
Is that so much to ask?
Is it too much to ask?
Another surprising observation is that I received no communications from any of the local churches. It sure was different a few years ago! The churches then (more than ten, less than fifteen years ago) would send out a condolence card of some sort. Some sent full sized cards; others would send post cards; still others would enclose a small card, along with a comforting tract or two.
Some churches would have visitors who made condolence calls, unsolicited.I have to admit, I am glad that practice has (apparently) stopped. It's no time for strangers to visit.
I am surprised that there was no outreach from the churches.
One of the churches hosts a bereavement group -- but the only way I know that is because I looked it up online, following advice from a friend. This church is pretty active in the community, so it was no surprise that they have this group. It was a surprise that no one had let me know that it was available.
And there have been no solicitations for memorials and plaques and headstones. No one offering to take the nonexistent insurance money. Did get one card about monuments, but it was from two counties and many miles away; nothing local.
Just surprising.
And, if this is true for someone like us, who have been here, what support is there for relative strangers? How can they cope or find help, or anything? How many in our neighborhoods have died and left behind loved ones truly bereft because there is no help or no heart in our neighborhoods anymore?
Someone should recognize each life in the community, long term or on a short visit. A life lost in a community is a life lost to the community.
