Amidst the Mists, pt 2 of Part 3

For a moment, or so it seemed, he was back in the fog, in the thick almost substantial parts of it, but sounds drew him back to the bed.

Sounds of footsteps. 

Sounds of voices. 

Three people, out in the hall. Tall, male. Working men, wearing boots, that they were taking off, from the sounds. Weren't they supposed to do that out on the porch? 

A slammed door on a rush of wind and rain hitting the inside floor answered that. Rain coming from that direction, the porch was probably inundated. 

Only one of the men came to the door(?) of the room. "Any change?" he asked, but not like he expected an answer. 

The hand woman said yes and the doctor woman said no. 

The doctor elaborated that there had been no physical change worth mentioning. Irregular breathing irregularities, but that was to be expected. No signs of returning consciousness. 

The other woman said, in a warm positive tone, that she felt a difference.  That he WAS coming back from wherever he'd gone. She KNEW, she just knew.

There was no doubt in her voice or in her words. Her surety warmed him from the inside as her hands had his outside, and he knew he could sleep, and rest, as he knew he needed to.

May Flowers.

 I have been planting.

First I had to weed and turn over dirt and add to it, before I could plant, and then I started small. A few of these here, a couple of those there. The first flowers were gifts. Then I bought some. And after I had thoroughly disturbed and roiled the dirt, I tossed in some seeds that I've had in a drawer.

Monday, after a family meal with two sisters and a cousin, I bought way way too many more flowers. The colors were so bright and cheerful. I couldn't resist. I bought enough to share, and some intentionally to share. Spread fresh dirt over it all.

After Monday, of course life got thoroughly in the way. Rain, and then my arthritic knee started jabbing me if I moved. It's not nice having to hobble around my one room on my stick, but at least I didn't have to resort to the more bulky and awkward walker. 

Finally the rain stopped. Leftover April showers, I suppose, since Nature doesn't go by man's calendar. 

Even better, the sun came out.

Today I went out  and planted most of my huge haul of pretties. Those lovely reds, the lemon yellows, blushing orange. pretty pastels, all jumbled up into eye-catching glory.

If I do say so myself. Haha.

I have ten plants left to go into the ground, and that's going to be tough. I havem't quite figured how to do them yet. The ones I planted today I planted in a raised bed. These others have to go in the ground,

Getting to the ground with my complaining knee may be a problem. Or maybe just getting up will be that problem. None of my knee braces are helpful for this issue.

I do, however, have friends, and one is going to loan me some long handled tools to at least do the digging with. And if I dig deep enough, I can drop the plants and bend over to place them, instead of get right down there.

BONUS: The landlord really, really liked what I have done.

Waiting for Rain

I hear two frogs speaking to one another, one with a deep somber bass, the other a flippity alto.
I think they are flirting.

I hear Leaves whispering and quiet jingling that tells me of a breeze; a breath.
I hear buzzing or humming and I cannot tell if it is the vapor lights thrumming, or a preview of the expected cicadas.
I hear voices from other porches and sidewalks.
Sounds are low tonight, and very near.

I smell the early perfumes of flowers, and the clean scent of overturned dirt, and a hint of a freshly mown lawn. I smell rain.

Rain is coming to a place near me.

Loved the Rain, And You

I've always loved the rain, and sharing it with you.

The opening lines of a complete regretful eulogy of a song, complete with instrumentation and a wistful familiarity.I had the whole song, as I sat on the porch watching it storm and missing Tammy.

Yes, I know. I keep going back to that.
It was important.
It was something to look forward to.

And something that never happened.

I doubt I will ever realize it's raining again without that thought.
If you knew Tammy, you'd know.

Anyway, the song.
It was so familiar, and so wrong, but right at the same time.
Loving the rain, and enjoying it, and sharing it. The storms, lightning flashing, thunder booming or rolling.
The rain slanting down.
The clean smell of it, even those first soured minutes onto hot pavement in the heat of a summer afternoon.
Walking along under the trees.
Laughing at children running into and out of shelter, laughing, not knowing if they liked it or not.
But laughing at Mommy and Mammaw playing, dancing, jumping in the rain with them.

In and Out, In and Out, a tapestry (tap dance?) of rain and laughter and love. Every stitch, every step a part of a larger, joyous pattern.

And the Music stops and the pictures of what was, what is, and what will now never be stops also, frozen in a moment -- ah, but such a lot of moments! -- forever.
And the rain forever falling, and the laughter, and we, too, are falling and floating with it, because it is what it is, and we both loved it then, and love it still.


It was in a dream, so I lost a lot of the words when I woke up, but they've come back to me, a line or two at a time.
As yet, I can't put them in order.
Maybe someday...

The familiarity bothered me.
And I found the song.

https://youtu.be/ixa7-EG0YhE

See what I mean about it being both wrong and right?
And even if I do remember my words to the music, I'll not be able to use them, except privately, which seems almost a shame.  The music belongs to someone else, and most of the words. And I'm not someone to go begging for exemption from copyright infringement. That's a big deal.

Ah well.
It's one thing I know I did right, loving the rain, and sharing it with you.
Now you can ride the clouds, up and down,  in an eternal bonding with your beloved rain.
Enjoy, my pluvial Pisces.

Bad day; Sad Day

This day just passing has been a bad, sad, discombobulated day.
I don't know why it's sad, but it is.
That's how it feels.
How it has felt.
All day long.
All afternoon.
All evening.
All night.

It was a thousand little "if anything could go wrong it will" day.
Nothing big; nothing ruinous; nothing disastrous.
Lost keys; forgot something at the store; every red light in town; trip over own feet; power strip stops working; internet goes out; etc.

Just one of those days.

It would be unremarkable if not for the sadness that seems to be in the very pores of the day.

I've tried analyzing. The sadness isn't the melancholy of depression.
It isn't the loss of any one or any thing. Thank God.
It isn't the aftermath of anger or argument.
It isnt because of rain all day -- that's a YAY! for spring is coming.

But, it has still been a bad, sad day.

Here's to the new day and new timing being a glad fab day.

Blown Away. -- NOT

No one is going to tell me there wasn't a tornado connected with this storm. I woke up to my trailer rocking as if on rockers like a cradle. Then it levitated just a few seconds (think hill-hopping). THEN all hell broke loose. Wind, hail, driving rain, first this direction, then that. I couldn't see next door. I couldn't see Tammy's. I heard aluminum. In between roaring winds. Not a freight train, but close enough to a team of mack trucks coming in off 68.Through the yard.



Texted Tammy to get in her shower. she was texting me to get in my bathtub. Or something. Her door steps were knocked over. My glider is knocked over. One swing on the kids "swing set" is twisted and wrapped around bars. THe little slide is almost to my back porch. small toys scattered everywhere.

next door

Our two trailers suffered little damage that we can see. Some loose or collapsed skirting.

 the fence that isnt there

Trailer on the other side had siding peeled off, top and bottom. The six foot privacy fence between yards on 68 and trailer park is flattened. Trees are broken everywhere.


12 hours later we are still out of power.

We have been so very lucky.

Welcome the Weather, Whatever it is.

Finally, a break in the weather. Like all good things, it didn't come without a price. Parts of our northern 'Border Country' was torn apart with severe storms. Lots of wind damages, lots of uprooted trees, property damage. This was all in a part of the country where this type of storm is a little unusual.

But, oh the pay off! Lower humidity, softer air. And, the rest of us are beginning to feel that same relief, as if our weather-break is trailing in the skirts of theirs.

Today, here in Winchester, Ohio, it has been raining all day. Nice, gentle, cleansing, healing rain. There are flash flood watches and occasional storm warning, but for the most part our transition has been fairly nonviolent.
That's a good way to be.

The heat and humidity will return. It's still July, and there's August to be lived through, and the first few days after Labor Day. It would be odd to not have a week or so of hot-and-humid after back-to-school and Back-to-school -after-the-first-holiday.

I like the rain.
If Hailey were here, she'd be liking the rain.
She'd even be allowed to go out in this rain. Pappaw doesn't let her out when it's storming. She doesn't like that.

People are always complaining about the weather. If it's raining, they want sun. When the sun is shining, it's too hot. When it's hot they want cold. When it's cold they want snow. When it snows they want the roads cleared and cleaned and wish for the hot and humid summer.

We'd change things if we could, and once we have it, we start wishing it was what it was earlier (in the year, season, month, week, day).
We need to take the time to enjoy the weather we have while we have it. It's going to change soon enough, and we are very lucky if it changes without upheaval and terror.
Let's be happy with what we get.
After all, it could just -- blow away.

I'm as bad as others. We all are. We all think we wish for prescribed weather, for perfect weather. The problem with that is --

We can't even agree on perfect weather!

Some DO like it hot!

Summer Family Fun.

Today, my sisters are going to a family reunion. It will be the first Schmidt family reunion since my dad died. (I think. I could be wrong about that.) It will be odd  to have his family there and he is gone, but life is a winnowing out process, and the sad truth is he wasn't the first to go.

We have lovely weather for the event today. The heat has backed off, the storms that reduced it to cowardice have moved on to vanquish elsewhere. The sun is shining, skies are blue with puffy white clouds. There will be trees and a lake and restrooms and paths and picnic tables and a playground.

A perfect day for a family to reconnect, however briefly.

It grieves me that I won't be there. I love some of my father's sisters, even though I haven't been around them for years. I love them although I know little of their lives and they know less of mine.

Saturday we will be having another family party. This one I'll be able to attend. This one I will attend. Good lord willing and the creek don't rise -- an apt qualification in this case, since the party is being held near Red Oak Creek in Ripley.

I'll see people there that I know, know of, and maybe a couple that I don't know. New victims to observe, new cadences to hear. All within the safety of a family network, and of course an easy exit in case of overwhelming anxiety.

First week of August is busy with birthdays in this family -- thank goodness they aren't all celebrated individually with parties. A person would be constantly on the run (although birthday parties would be more pleasant running than doctor's visits, hospital tests and trying to get prescriptions filled.)

There are fairs, too, and church festivals. It's my firm belief that the only reason it rained three days this week is because Adams County Fair was in progress. It will rain three days the last week of September, when Brown County Fair is in progress. That's just how it works in this part of the country.

Summer is a good time to catch up with everyone. The hard part is catching up with yourself and your own.
Having family is important, having fun is important too.

Having you is important to me.

Have fun and take care. 

At Long Last, RAIN!

Today, stars danced in the streets and diamonds lined up on the back of my glider and dropped pure crystal beads into the dry grass.
In other words, it rained. Lovely rain.

Not a drought buster, to be sure. Not even good rain in places near to me. When the flash floods warnings go up before the storm warnings come down, you know it isn't a good rain.

But it's still a wet rain, even if the relief is short. It's nice thick dark clouds that keep the sunlight from burning down and baking the ground, from reflecting and refracting and getting hotter from every surface it's bounced off.

When I was little, I used to drape myself over the back of the couch, stare out the window, and watch the raindrops hitting the road. They'd hit and bounce and splatter. I thought it looked like stars dancing in the street.

It still looks like stars dancing in the street.

And why wouldn't the stars dance when some of us are finally getting some rain and some relief? Aren't the heavens supposed to rejoice with us, and isn't that where the stars come from?

Don't they ride the raindrops down, to dance together on the blacktop?