Christmas Calm

 This is my Christmas tree. Today is January 4. The tree has been up since the day after Thanksgiving. As usual.

As you can see, there are gifts waiting, for my sisters and mostly for my grandkids. 

I like looking at these gifts, ready and waiting for the children.

There are no spectacular gifts this year; at least I don't think so. They had no burning desires for anything special, except Warren wanted a real robot. I left that to Santa.

These are gifts that say "I love you." and maybe even "the silliest things make me think of you." Special for no other reason than that.

I had an opportunity to take their gifts to them on Christmas Eve, but they weren't wrapped. And they would be on Christmas break from their schools. Surely we'd somehow get together in that time.

But it did not happen. 

Life got in the way, with all its complications and contradictions. Illness, wellness, work, cars, the current pandemic. (Current for nearly two years now. That's a long time for a "right now" event, don't you think?) All sorts of stuff; the 'stuff' of daily living. 

Life got in the way.

Once upon a time, this would have infuriated me, or insulted me, or any of many intense negative emotional reactions. 

But I'm not mad.

They'll get them sometime.

When life allows.

In the meantime, I can look at the gifts and be pleased that I have gifts for them. There have been times -- many, many times -- when that couldn't didn't happen. 

I can wait for the giving. 

I can wait for the children.

I can wait for life to return to normal, or something approaching that.

Life will never be normal again.

Too much has changed.

But love doesn't.

The joy of giving doesn't.

That is the normal I can wait for.

Christmas is Coming, Full steam

This year Christmas will be a mess. It will be sad, because of Rex's absence. I'm already missing the shopping marathon -- the one day of the year he would go out and do some real shopping. How he enjoyed buying things! Although he admittedly never cared for the shopping part of it.
He never cared for a lot of the associated things. He liked watching the kids open presents. He liked buying presents. He liked when his other daughter would visit, and was often hurt that he was alone in that. He liked having a good buffet laid out. (He would have preferred a meal, but with no set time for visitors and visiting, he came to appreciate the cold cut tray and the veggie tray and the devilled eggs. He loved his devilled eggs. Even when they weren't so tasty.

Anyway, Christmas will be different this year for us.

The biggest difference will be the gifts not here for the kids. Well, for Hailey. Warren's never had a Christmas, so he won't miss anything. Hailey will miss it for him, though. She knows how it's supposed to be.
I do have some things put away for the kids, and will spend a little to get some things. I have one substantial gift for Babby, bought before the Bad Thing happened. I'm hoping to find something equal for Hailey-Girl.
Don't know when, don't know how, but I have faith in the magicks of the Season. I've seen it all fall into place too many times. (Or seen what looked like disaster turn into the highlight of the day.)
Yes, I have faith, and I will keep my eyes open. And, I hope, my heart.

Christmas is coming for me and for my girls, and for the babies, and for the whole wide world, even those who call it by other names.

For us, here, even the weather has been doing its job in making spirits bright.
Snow and ice, ice and snow.
Lights reflecting and a frosty glow.
It's cold, cold, cold

We will welcome it with all the love we have to give.

That is what matters

Brown Thursday? Are you kidding me?

I mean, what makes it brown? The shadiness of forcing minimum wage part timers away fro their families so the rich can get richer? That is shady, to say the least.

It's been a big item in the news and on social media this last week.
Boycott Walmart -- after you start a riot over a tv.
Don't shop K-mart, Target, Big Buy, Best Guy, etc --make sure you bundle up while you wait in line even before Thanksgiving.
Other news stories about how more people than ever will be eating out. Well, they wouldn't/couldn't if the damn restaurants were closed, could they?
Unless they want to line up two frigid nights ahead of time.
Oh, gee, if I want to wait for a meal I can just go "Home" for the holiday and spend it with family!
Silly me.


I would love to blame the media.  Heaven knows they feed the frenzy. Out interviewing the idiots waiting in line on Wednesday. In the stores , with cameras and publicity and regalia and rigmarole on Thursday.
But, in this case, they are doing their job, somewhat. They are reporting on the news.
Not that there is anything "NEW" going on -- this is the fourth or fifth year for this nonsense.

I think they could help.
They don't need to report their precise location when they are broadcasting the Idiot's Lineup.
They don't need to tell everyone which mall they are covering.
They don't need to reveal sale items.

People want to be on tv (and You Tube) and they want to be known for getting good deals.
The stores want all the free publicity they get, and the News Outlets give them that in spades. They don't have to pay a penny.
It's all profit for them.

And that's all you are, if you are foolish enough, or maybe desperate enough (if you happen to be one of the slave wage laborers.)
You are profit.
You are dollar signs.
You are dollars.

You are not a person.
You are not a parent.
You are not a valued ... (customer, consumer, member of the team, part of the staff-- you choose.)

You are profit.

So -- how do you see yourself?

And did you spend your Thanksgiving stuffing your face or stuffing their already bulging wallets?

Blacker than Friday

is 'Black Thursday'
is the early Black Friday sales.

I don't know which I despise the most.
Yes, I said despise. As in disdainfully hate, loathe, and dislike. ALL.

Years and years ago, back in the last century, Black Friday sales used to be FUN! Hurtling through the dark early morning hours to go to stores never worth going to at other times. Hitting the 4 am openers, and then the 6 am early bird stores. Buying gifts that could not be afforded otherwise.

It wasn't even too bad when the "Black Friday" thing became part of the annual routine. The sales weren't as spectacular -- usually they are ordinary mark-downs of last year's leftovers -- and the fun wasn't there because too much traffic was taking its place. Everybody that wasn't working was hitting the sales.

Even the hysteria of  'limited number of items' (because they are selling last year's no-sells) was somewhat tolerable from a distance. Stupid, but tolerable. No one should be assaulted over a toy.

Now however, the whole thing has morphed into blatant money-grubbing. The stores started opening late on Thanksgiving Day, then they started being open "All Day" on Thanksgiving Day.

This year the Black Friday sales all were 'leaked' early, and have been underway for at least a week. There's still a week before Thanksgiving.
I haven't shopped any of them, and there are stores I won't shop, even when it is actually time to do so.

These stores -- Target is one of them -- are making it mandatory for their workers to come in on the holiday day. Yeah, they'll pay time-and-a-half (maybe) but that isn't the point. To many people, especially minimum wage workers, time spent with family is more important than all the money in the world. At least for that one day that is supposed to be about appreciating who and what you have.

I have no problem with the stores being open -- if the people working there want to be there. I always wished I could go to work, maybe, after the meal and the dishes and the guests went home, and the only thing on tv is football games. I'd have volunteered.

There are people to whom Thanksgiving is yet another lonely day, and they'd work or not, however it works out.

And if a store doesn't have the staff to work that day -- that special, family holiday -- then they shouldn't open, or should perhaps only have some areas open (no coffee shop, no fresh-sliced deli, etc.) They should respect the employees who want to respect their families -- not drag them out and demand they deal kindly and patiently with rude and demanding people.

Yes, I categorize the precious customers that way, because for the most part it is going to be the greedy people out grabbing goodies. The "real" people will be at home with their families, especially during the early part of the day.

And if you do go out, after your family's festivities, please remember to thank those who serve you in any capacity. A heck of a lot of them are there because they have to be, not because they want to be, and that's just not fair.

Thanks Giving

We all have a lot to be thankful for. What's "a lot" to me may be only a little to you, but it's the size of the thankfulness that counts more than what the thankfulness is for.

I bring this up for several reasons.
1)A Facebook friend posted a 'month of gratitude' status.
2)We have, mostly, survived a natural disaster. It could have been so much worse. Those where it hit the hardest and are still being hit -- one horror after another -- are a reminder to those of us not afflicted.
3)It's November. Halloween is over. It's time for Thanksgiving here in the US.

Do you hear that, people? Media? Advertisers?

Halloween is over. It's time for Thanksgiving.
Not Christmas.
Not "the Holidays"

Thanks Giving.

Yesterday, a commercial for a local station's news had a cheery voiced woman announcing "Halloween is over. Time to gear up for the next holiday. This years must have-toys for Christmas. See our story at five."

I don't watch that station's news and very little of their programming anyway, but really? How many stories will they be doing four weeks from now on "Thanksgiving, the forgotten holiday?"
Hypocrites.

I tried to post a protest on their Facebook page -- it wouldn't take. Tried several times. Tried liking/friending to be able to post, still couldn't post. I undid that pretty quick, you can bet.

The media will all do/make/have big stories about the "rush to Christmas." I've already seen a few. The problem is -- they are a large part of the problem. If they didn't do stories on the top ten must-have toys. If they didn't preface miracle/ goodwill stories as early Christmas.

Imagine if the news (local, national, or its own private network) didn't run ANY Christmas stories until after Thanksgiving. The holidays wouldn't be so rushed in and pushed into our consciousness, and the stories themselves would be more special, more effective. They would have their own place to sparkle and shine and move people if they were treated as the seasonal treats that they are meant to be.
To help explain -- candy corn is available year-round, but it doesn't taste the same in April as it does in October. Jelly beans aren't the same in October. Because that is the time and the place for them.

Oh advertisers are more obviously guilty, but how would it benefit the advertisers if the media ignored their pre-emptive extravaganzas, such as top-ten lists? If those news people weren't attending these events, the advertisers would lose money and maybe even actually have to pay out for their ads.
Isn't that what they are supposed to do?

And the fourth item on my list has to be
4) Us. People.
We need to take this time, to make this accounting of our lives, our families, our things. We gripe and complain, true, but what effect can there be when we watch and buy anyway?

It is OUR power to change things. Let's stop talking and start thanking before we shop.